By Debbie Schlussel

It’s official: AIDS is now “martyrdom,” according to a top Egyptian Islamic official.

Well, as we all know, there’s nothing “martyr-esque”–especially under Sharia–about sleeping around, having gay sex, and sharing needles. But since the Arab world has the second-highest HIV infection rate, Muslims need a convenient way of explaining away this very strong evidence that Allah is not on their side.

You see, when we infidels in the West have a major catastrophe, like Hurricane Katrina, Muslims preach to their followers that Allah is against us. But now, it appears Allah is against them. After all, he’s giving a lot of them HIV. And, as we know, the virus is spread largely through that very unIslamic behavior they like to say is the Infidel way of life. Muslims need a way to explain this away and keep questioning Muslims in the fold. Thus, this new definition of martyrdom.

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That’s the fatwa of Sheikh Ahmed Abu-Youssef, head of the Religious Guidance Department at Egypt’s Ministry of Religious Endowments.

Don’t expect this to end the oodles of beheadings of gays in Egypt (and elsewhere in Greater Islamia). The fatwa was issued to keep Muslims in the hypocritical fold, not for any humanitarian or humane purpose.

**** UPDATE: Reader Sean writes:

As for AIDS causing martyrdom, I’m truly shocked. Do you mean to tell me they haven’t pinned this on some Zionist conspiracy? Do we have an over/under bet on how long that takes? Or did they already trot that one out while I wasn’t paying attention? If the article is accurate that there were 2,000 reported HIV cases in Egypt since ’86 and that it’s only 1/10th of the total, that means there are only 20,000 cases there. Somehow, I doubt it’s only 20,000.

Probably right.