Re-Logoing History

Re-Logoing History

WARNING:  FREE SPEECH ZONE: FOR THOSE EASILY OFFENDED PANTYWAISTS GO TAKE YOUR MEDS NOW!

by ThoughtRogue

Many moons ago, here in the great Soviet of Washington, our vaunted King County (wherein Seattle resides) was named after President Franklin Pierce’s VP, William Rufus King – reportedly an unabashed Alabama slaveholder.  But, not too long ago, our local pointy-headed politicians suddenly became verklempt with latent (trans-generational) guilt, and decided to do something extra-clever.  They renamed “King” County after Martin Luther King, Jr. – and papered over our local history by simply changing all the County logos and letterhead.  Voila!

Well, now there’s some pointy-headed academic ‘professor’ (in Florida!) who is agitating that we change the name of one of our local creeks from “Negro Creek” to some other more-enlighteded ‘historical’ name.  Read the story here!

In response to the politically-charged question regarding our language and its serving history – By all means we should eliminate all offending ‘Negroes’.

Mystic Negro

Mystic Negro

Let’s really update “Nigger Creek’s” name to “Niggah’ Creek” – to celebrate our great Hip Hop cultural awakening.

Some folks are recently appalled by the historically-descriptive term “colored” (like “darkey”), except for those enthralled by the NAACP (the National Association for the Advancement of liberal Colored People).  This includes all the colored-people (and those colored pasty white) who support this politically correct institution.

Remember the big controversy a few years ago about the great historical, if not closeted, term “niggard”??  Where some offended Negroes attempted to have this word banned?  Someone who is niggardly is considered miserly, stingy, or excessively thrifty.

Along these lines, there are several more words I think should be on the chopping block; Chief [did I just offend Indians?] among them are:

1)       Organism  [speaks for itself]

2)       Count  [one buffer-letter away is way too close]

3)       The word meaning a ‘female dog’  [I won’t even go into its vulgarity here..]

4)       Volvo  [I know it’s Swedish – that makes it even more lewd!]

5)       Uvula  [Its sound just exudes vulgarity – something to do with deep throat – ban it, now!]

6)       Fukuyama  [a most unfortunate surname, its sound eerily affronts your Mother – but, if connected with Hip Hop’s “yo mama”, I’m sure something could be worked out here..]

One of the major theme’s of George Orwell’s dystopian masterpiece, 1984, was the concerted practice of our future enlightened, mega-coercive government to literally engage in the constant editing of written history, to expunge all references to smooth everything over, and to forever make undesirable history literally disappear – i.e. if there exists no more documentation to its former existence – then, for all purposes, for future generations, it never did exist!

One of my favorite Mexican beers is called “Negra Modelo“.  It’s a Dark beer.  Perhaps I should contact the nearest Consulate and suggest that they clean up their language.